High Achievers
You’ve built yourself around results and drive.
Pressure has always sharpened you.
But now you’re getting poor results, somehow even before you begin.
And the absence of results is becoming sensed and seen.
So you double-down to force, continuing the sprint/collapse cycle.
When Overdrive Becomes Unsustainable
Common experiences include:
Perfectionism that raises the bar after every win
Restlessness not letting you calm in order to sleep
Cycling between sprints and burnout
Difficulty saying no, or stopping at “good enough”
Disassociating with screens, food, or substances to come down
Relationships strained by absence even when present (preoccupation)
The unspoken fear that conditional results equal conditional worthiness
These are not character flaws. They’re learned strategies that once protected you, now deserving an update.
The Movement Toward Integration is a Three-Part Journey
1. Build Understanding of Your Strategies
What high standards helped prevent and why they now backfire
How identity fused with performance fuels shame and urgency
The nervous system cost of sustained pressure and anticipation
How perfectionism, people-pleasing, and control move against fear
2. Develop Practical Tools that Work with You
Together, we’ll design:
Values-based prioritization and selective choice to reduce overload
Boundary scripts, delegation protocols, and repair language
Load management and recovery blocking to prevent build-up
Brief regulation drills to shift state at any time
Redirects that separate self-worth from the performative self
3. Heal Wounds that Fuel Overdrive
We patiently unburden:
Old templates of conditional lovability driving rejection sensitivity
Internal criticisms that conflates our safe connections with outcomes
Acknowledging and releasing what relentless striving has cost
The fear that letting it all fall apart equates to holding no standard
Life on the Other Side
Imagine:
Relationships that aren’t tied to the last outcome
The permission to rest without guilt and to create without self-punishment
Relationships strengthened by honesty and genuine presence
Health and energy reserved for what truly matters
Excellence that is sustainable
Why this Approach Works
Our method is trauma-informed and non-pathologizing. We integrate:
Polyvagal-informed self-regulation to stabilize when pressure to perform visits
Internal Family Systems to befriend Critical Parts so they can relax
Attachment work to untangle conditional worth and build secure relating
Care that works because it is both experiential and practical. We pair insight with weekly actions that compound.
Service Options and Next Step
We offer individual therapy via secure video for California residents and in-person sessions in Redlands.
We can explore weekly therapy or a focused intensive depending on fit.
Book your consultation to discuss goals, format, and next steps.
Prefer email to schedule or ask questions? A short message with a few good times works as well
Further reading
Perfectionism vs healthy striving
Burnout recovery and recovery pacing
Boundaries for leaders and providers
Identity beyond achievement: rebuilding a stable self
Joy as discipline: replenishment that lasts